Social Pariah

I realize I’ve left a considerable gap between the last few updates, while, being slightly irresponsible does show the quality of the summer I’m having.  Also, the lack of daily rapid fire posts might have given everyone a bit of a breather.  Hooray.  So let’s tickle the splanchnic ganglion on the body of information and let fly the updates.  (If you caught that reference, good on you.)


 – The first Sunday back home (May 22nd) my family celebrated Easter by having our annual Easter egg hunt.  As per every year, the garden claimed it’s fair share of the eggs.  As I’ve grown up the eggs have started to go from “in plain view” to “forensic team necessary” difficulty levels.  In an even less expected turn of events, we also celebrated my birthday (Jan 24th).  Pictured above is my cousin Kurtis, Grandma, and myself during the Easter/Birthday festivities.


– Just under a month later, the young adult group from my church took a field trip to Nat Bailey Stadium to take in a Vancouver Canadians baseball game.  The closest thing I had had up that in the way of major league baseball experience was All-Star Baseball 1999 for the N64.  If you watched the clip, I pretty much did my best to imitate the commentator.  Every. Single. Time.  Can’t say I’m not committed.   Above, Zak and myself celebrating after a Canadians’ win.





– Next on the schedule was my return to Saltspring island.  My church takes an annual trip to the island and openly offers a helping hand to anyone on the island who needs it.  The experience is unbelievable and many of my fondest memories come from the time spent on the island.  The highlight of the week is the talent show, featuring four celebrity guests.  This year I was privileged enough to get the opportunity to be one of them.  Above (left), James Cox and I strike a pose before dinner with soaking wet shirts.  Above (right), at the beginning of a spirited game of water balloon zombies, I abandon my human teammates and offer myself to team zombie.

That brings me to this week, sitting in the Olive Garden, the Dane Cook of classy restaurants.  Having an awesome time with my family and friends, trying to decipher just exactly how much of the waiter’s zeal towards his job is genuine.  Wondering why every time a dish is served with the warning “look out, the plate is hot,” everyone touches the plate.  How apparently hot does something have to be to not want to touch it.  Maybe get on the temperature controlled color can train and make a plate that changes color based on how hot it is…  Anyways, here’s the reason for the title.



Tweeting, posting, constantly updating statuses, and countless hours of wasted time being spent sharpening and honing our virtual farming skills have accounted for an ever-expanding social population that numbers well above five hundred million people.   That number accounts for around seven percent of our current population.  And, as of January 2010, that seven percent spent more than seven hours a month on Facebook.

Which means…

Over the duration of a month, humanity can lose 3.5 billion man hours to tirelessly checking for notifications.  To bring to light how utterly ridiculous this is, the pyramids, which took over 20 years to finish, required 4 billion man hours.  One of history’s testaments to human determination and ingenuity could, in theory, be completed in around 40 days.  Obviously having five hundred million people working would be an insane sight and almost impossible in itself, but the numbers don’t lie.  We are failing, as a whole, to prioritize and capitalize on an abundant supply of collective man power.   Over the last ten years the biggest advancements have been in digital memory, shrinking down size and expanding capabilities.  There have been no groundbreaking achievements, no world changing discoveries, no one-in-a-million coincidences that have lead to global advancements.  With properly coordinated situations, there can be hundreds of one-in-a-million occurences.


Stay Thirsty My Friends,

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