Seeing as how the Masters Tournament is going on I thought I’d talk about golf today. To be completely fair, I have never willingly watched golf in my life and don’t plan to do so. I do have a lot of respect for those who can endure the intense mental strain and perfect every minute detail, but, I’m sorry golf fans, it’s just not the most exciting game for me. Maybe if there was a loose cannon golfer who played by his own rules, kind of like Wild Thing from “Major League.”
And it’s not like The Masters is the World Cup of golf, where the entire planet jumps on a bandwagon and instantly holds hostility towards one another, even if neither of them came name more than three players off of each team.
The reason I bring up The Masters is because this after noon, our team had a competition. We split into teams of three and held a draft. The players picked a five player team of who we though would cumulatively have the lowest score. Suddenly, golf became a relevant sport for the team. We poured over players, jeering and taunting each other. Celebrating every time an opposing teams pick came up short. We cursed out our own when he landed in the bunker. Fun was had.
One of the things I hadn’t realized about golf was the utter lack of emotion it’s commentators have. I’m almost certain that one of the prerequisites for the position is to be part Vulcan. Maybe it’s an unwritten rule of golf to always speak like your describing a prize winning garden. Speaking of gardens, if I hear another commentator mention how “immaculate” the golf course is, I will personally take a sand-wedge to the tee box on the eighteenth hole.
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All For Now,