The Church of Xbox

Seeing as I enjoy taking a indirect route on issues, I’ve been thinking a lot about what my battle with this  cold/cough/plague could look like in other mediums.  A few of the better ones have stuck out in my mind.  One particularly entertaining was re-imagining the entirety of the Osmosis Jones movie.  An epic story about a white blood cell and a cold pill who battle inside of Bill Murray’s body against an invading virus named Thrax.  In my case, it’s just a guy named Cold who can’t be killed, but eventually just dies for some reason.  Another interesting theory was having the two sides campaign for control of the body.  The Cold obviously being Sarah Palin, because she’s bearable for a few days, but enduring four years of her would be terrible.*

However, the one that got me thinking today was more to do with the eventual defeat of my sickness.  What if every time you successfully defeated a sickness like a cold or the flu or small pox you got an achievement.  It’s an addictive technique applied by every major electronic gaming syndicate.  Would you push harder to get rid of it, adhere more strictly to medical plans?  Which, in turn, got me thinking onto more applications of the effort/reward relationship.

So I began thinking in extremes.  Lets say that powerful minds behind the creation of Xbox Live somehow turn the modern world into a single dictatorship.  They instate an achievement regime which applies to all citizens of earth.  Different accomplishments would render more points depending on degree of difficulty.   How would people “play” each day, knowing they could possible earn a reward for a certain action.  I can imagine people spending entire days pouring shakers of pepper on there face to get the “1000 Sneezes in a Day” 50 pts.  Perhaps Xbox is concerned with the Earth’s health so they instate a  double points week for all exercising achievements.  Maybe a rebel uprising is trying to oppose, “Join the Live Army” 150 pts.  Career achievements would be even more impressive (or depressing depending on what they were.)  “Watch 10,000 hours of  TV” 500 pts, “Drive the Distance to the Moon” 1,500 pts, “Turn 90” 3,000 pts.  Could also work against you “Watch 10+ Episodes of Jersey Shore) -100 pts.  What would it all be for though.  Nothing.  Just like in reality, video game achievements are just ways to make a number on the screen a little bit higher.

All For Now,
TP

P.S. Happy 137th Birthday Harry Houdini, also, I updated the About page.

*sentence donated by K. Osborne

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